Building your Positive ‘Piggy Bank’ Moment by Moment
Written by Sarah Peritz, M.A.
There may be times when life begins to feel routine, overwhelming, or focused on simply getting through each day. During these periods, positive experiences can feel limited or harder to access. If this resonates with you, intentionally accumulating positive moments, experiences, and emotions, and taking time to be mindful of them, can be a helpful place to start.
What is accumulating positives?
In DBT, accumulating positives means intentionally and mindfully increasing positive experiences in your life. Rather than waiting for enjoyable moments to occur, this skill emphasizes creating opportunities for them in a deliberate way and adds being mindful of them when they are happening. These experiences do not need to be large or time-intensive. In fact, small, everyday moments that are often overlooked, such as enjoying a cup of matcha, sitting in the sun, or watching a funny video, can be especially meaningful. You might think of these moments like putting money into a piggy bank. Individually, they may feel small, like pennies that do not seem to matter much. However, when we begin to notice and take them in, those pennies accumulate. Pennies turn into dimes, dimes into quarters, and over time, into something more substantial. In the same way, these small positive experiences build on one another. As they accumulate, they not only increase positive emotions, but can also help reduce the intensity of difficult emotions when they arise.
How do I accumulate positives?
Incorporating small, positive experiences into your day to day routine may help with accumulating positives in the short term. These are the everyday moments that we may not tend to, be mindful of, or just let pass us by without thought. They may include:
● Listening to music you enjoy
● A hot shower
● Eating with intentionality (take 4 minutes to eat as slow as you can and enjoy the food on your break rather than eating just to eat)
● Engaging in a hobby, even for 2-3 minutes
● Connecting with someone who feels supportive
● Allowing yourself time to rest (yes, sitting on the couch and being mindful to it can be effective at times!)
The goal is not to eliminate stress completely or feel positive all the time. Instead, it is to intentionally create and tend to moments that bring even a slight sense of enjoyment, calm, or connection.
Accumulating positives may also look beyond the present moment and consider our values. This includes identifying what is meaningful to you and taking steps towards living in alignment with those values. A sense of lasting fulfillment or meaning often comes from building a life that reflects what you care about the most. Thus, you may consider what is important or meaningful in your life, what you would like more of in the future, and what manageable small steps you may take to move in that direction. For example, if you value social connection, you may make it a goal each week to be intentionally present and fully participate with friends while you eat lunch together rather than being distracted.
Creating the space
Accumulating positives is not about ignoring difficulties or forcing yourself to feel joy or happiness. It is instead creating space for positive experiences to exist alongside other emotions and mindfully tending to those positive emotions to add to your piggy bank. With intention and patience, these moments can help you reconnect with the kinds of experiences you want more of in your daily life, especially if they have felt out of reach for some time. This week, try engaging in an activity you already do, but with distractions intentionally reduced. When your mind wanders to worries or other tasks, gently bring your attention back and, with mindful awareness, allow yourself to fully experience even small moments of enjoyment.